A Winter Sabbatical (Books We Love holiday romance) Page 6

  He looked at her – she was standing under the water, it ran down her face, over her breasts, her...

  He leaned forward and kissed her gently, then slid his hands down over her buttocks. He reached for the soap, lathered his hands, and ran them over her – all over her.

  It felt—How could he explain it? It was like nothing he’d ever experienced before.

  Marissa leaned forward, kissed his neck, and slid her arms around his waist.

  He felt himself go hard, pushing against her. He looked into her face, she was smiling, he moved, trying to stop himself from pushing her, but she repositioned herself next to him again.

  Perhaps she liked it? Was it turning her on?

  Travis was worried – did she feel obligated? He didn’t want her that way.

  “Are you sure about this?”

  She covered his lips with her fingers. “Sure.” Her fingers slid down his torso, and stopped at his navel. How could he endure this torture? He kissed her lips, slid his tongue in her mouth. Her breathing was quickening, her fingers slipped down to his erection. She held onto him.

  “Let’s get out of here,” she whispered.

  Travis turned off the water, and reached for the towel.

  He began to dry Marissa, noticing the goose bumps on her skin. “Cold?”

  She looked at him, then shook her head.

  “You’re really sure about this?”

  Marissa covered his lips with her fingers again.

  There would be no turning back. What if she called out Jeremy’s name?

  He wrapped her in the towel, and then grabbed another one out of the cupboard for himself.

  “I lit the fire,” he said, then decided it was a pretty stupid thing to say. It suddenly dawned on him – he was nervous!

  Travis led Marissa over near the fireplace, and she sat on the rug, still wrapped in the towel.

  Jonah was there too, and Travis shoved him out of the way. “Not tonight, sport. Find somewhere else.”

  Marissa laughed, but Travis could tell she was nervous too.

  He kneeled on the rug next to her, and removed his towel; Marissa followed his lead, then lay on her back. Travis leaned forward, balanced above her, moving in to kiss her, and Marissa opened her mouth to accept his kiss.

  He looked into her eyes. Was she really ready for this? She stared back at him, and he tried to read her thoughts. Nothing. Nothing! No anger, no worry, and no anguish.

  Travis positioned himself above her, sheathing himself with a condom, and Marissa opened herself up to him. He moved slowly at first, then moved deeper and deeper inside her, gently rocking.

  She moved her hands over his back. God, she was killing him! He began to move quicker and quicker, her body jerked under him, and he emptied himself into her as they came together.

  Travis rolled off her sweaty body, and lay next to her on the rug. As he turned and faced her, he saw the tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.

  Chapter Four

  Travis reached out to Marissa, pulling her against him.

  She rested her head on his chest. He could feel her warm tears as they continued to fall.

  Why didn’t he listen to his instincts? She wasn’t ready – he knew she wasn’t ready. But did he believe it? No – he had to be selfish. He wanted to make love with her.

  He reached over and brushed the tears from her face. Marissa’s arm moved across his chest and around him. She snuggled in.

  The fire roared beside them – it was comforting. When all else failed, Travis would light the fire, sit and watch it’s mesmerizing flames, and listened to the story they told.

  He stared into them now. What advice did they have to offer?

  Marissa shifted her body. She wanted comfort. What could he offer her? He’d just destroyed any remaining peace of mind she may have gathered along the way.

  And for what?

  The chance to make love to her, the chance to be with her, the chance to love her forever.

  Marissa snuggled in closer.

  Travis reached up and wiped her tears away. What had she thought – that Travis would rid her of Jeremy, simply by making love to her? She wanted him to make love to her. She was in love with Travis. She had to put Jeremy in the past – rid herself of him forever, and move forward.

  She looked at his face. Deep furrows etched his brow as he stared into the flames of the fire. Had she done this to him? Had she caused him this pain, this sorrow? She had to live with the pain, the emptiness – she certainly didn’t want to make it contagious.

  Marissa reached around his body, shifting her position. He wouldn’t even look at her. Had he already regretted his actions?

  Marissa awoke to find herself covered in a blanket. She could hear Travis moving about the house – in the kitchen going by the direction of the sounds.

  She sat up and stretched her arms above her head. Jonah had positioned himself comfortably at her feet.

  How long had she been asleep?

  Looking out the window, she surmised it had been ages – it was now pitch black outside.

  “Ah, finally sleeping beauty awakes.” Travis walked into the room carrying a tray of hot food. “Soup all right for starters?”

  So, he wasn’t even going to talk about it?

  He dropped the tray on the counter, then headed toward her. Travis helped Marissa to her feet, and she pulled the blanket up around herself. Despite the warmth of the fire, a shiver ran through her.

  Travis put his arms around her, and Marissa rested her head against his shoulder. She listened to his steady heartbeat. “I want to explain,” she started, but he stopped her by laying his fingers across her lips.

  “You don’t have to explain anything.” Marissa heard his heartbeat quicken.

  They held onto each other, and Travis stroked Marissa’s hair. It was comforting – he was comforting. She wanted to be with him forever.

  ***

  “Is it the actual bed that’s worrying you?” Travis watched as Marissa stood over his four-poster bed.

  She shook her head.

  It was an original, mainly black, and had beautiful gold knobs on the top of each poster. It even had mosquito netting authenticating its origin even more. The bed came with his inheritance.

  Marissa looked at the bed, then Travis. Then she looked at the bed again.

  What was the problem?

  “Do you want to go home?” He certainly wasn’t going to force her to stay the night. It was her suggestion, after all.

  Jonah wandered in and rubbed his neck against Marissa’s leg. She reached down and picked him up, holding him close against her. Marissa looked a little more relaxed with Jonah in her arms. More than she had since...

  Travis wasn’t sure what to do next. Should he climb into bed and hope she would follow suit? Perhaps he should push the issue and make her tell him what was wrong?

  Yeah, like that’s going to work! Since when did Marissa Temple take orders from anyone?

  He shrugged his shoulders at her. If she didn’t want to go to bed yet, then that was fine with him. He’d turn on the television – maybe there was a good movie on.

  Travis walked out of the room nonchalantly. Was this a normal occurrence, or was he the problem?

  His mind drifted back to the day of the massage – the day Marissa fell asleep. The day he watched her tormented face, listened to her terrified voice, watched the perspiration pour from her.

  Once again, Travis knew exactly who was the problem.

  Marissa stood looking down at the bed.

  She could hear the noise of the television. Travis had apparently found something decent to watch. Perhaps she should go out and join him?

  Jonah began to lick her fingers. She rubbed her cheek against his head, and he began to purr. His white fur was soft and silky. She loved having a cat around – that was something she missed when she leased the little flat in the city – no pets allowed. Daniel probably wouldn’t mind if she had one at the house. She’d ask hi
m next time he phoned. Or maybe she could send him an email.

  She sat on the edge of the beautiful four-poster bed. It certainly felt comfy enough; she pushed at it with one hand, the other one still holding Jonah.

  “Tell the truth,” she whispered aloud. “It’s not the bed, it’s you.”

  Marissa sighed. She had to make a decision – climb into bed, or go out and snuggle up with Travis.

  There was really no choice, was there?

  Still half asleep, Travis patted the bed beside him.

  He knew the bed was empty even before he’d confirmed it. He’d lain awake for ages while she slept, listening to her steady breathing, wallowing in her nearness, cringing every time she moaned in nightmarish agony.

  He glanced across at the bedside clock. Three a.m.

  Marissa had fallen asleep in the middle of the movie, snuggled up against him, and he hadn’t wanted to disturb her. It had finally finished around midnight, and he’d carefully picked her up and carried her into bed.

  But where was she now?

  Travis grabbed his toweling bathrobe, not bothering to do it up. As he entered the lounge room, he spotted her.

  Marissa stood staring out the window into the blackness. He stood watching her silhouette as the trees gently waved in the breeze, the sky jotted by the endless stars and the moonlight.

  He took a step forward, and the floorboards creaked, startling her.

  She turned and looked at him, the curves of her body visible under her makeshift nightie – one of his t-shirts. Of course, it was a mile too big, and he’d probably never wear it again, now that it had the mark of Marissa on it, in it.

  They stared at each other, not saying a word. Someone had to break the spell.

  “Can’t sleep?” Stupid question Johnston, of course she can’t sleep. Why the hell else would a person stand staring out the window at this ungodly hour?

  He saw her lips curl slightly in the moonlight.

  “Sorry – did I wake you?”

  As if she knew he could see through the shirt, Marissa wrapped her arms tightly around herself, pulling the loose folds of the shirt with them.

  Travis walked slowly toward her. “No. No you didn’t.” He tried to smile, to make her feel more at ease, but his mouth wouldn’t do what his brain was telling it to do. “Is everything all right? Can I get you anything?”

  She waved a hand at him. “Go back to bed, I’ll be fine.” Marissa turned back to face the window.

  Instant dismissal? Travis felt a chuckle rolling up his chest to his mouth. He couldn’t stop himself. It really wasn’t funny. No, this was a serious matter.

  Marissa turned back to look at him.

  “Are you laughing at me?” The moonlight was playing directly on her face. He could see the furrowing of her brows, her forehead.

  “Moi?” He smiled.

  Marissa smiled back; a tiny smile, but a smile nonetheless.

  He took another step forward. The floor creaked again.

  Marissa stood staring at him.

  “My burglar alarm.”

  A smile; finally he got a smile.

  “I’ll put on the jug.” Marissa disappeared into the kitchen, dropping Jonah on a chair as she went.

  A fool. He probably thought her a fool, standing staring out the window at this hour of the morning.

  Of course he hadn’t said as much. But, Travis wouldn’t, would he?

  She reached up and pulled two mugs out of the cupboard, and heard a low “meeoooow” behind her. Jonah must have followed her.

  Marissa rifled through the cupboards trying to find tea. Coffee would never do at this hour. Sleep was elusive enough, without giving it a helping hand. Travis would probably feel the same.

  As she poured the boiling water over the teabags, Jonah rubbed his soft fur against Marissa’s bare leg. It felt good, nice, and it was comforting.

  She had at least discovered something tonight. It wasn’t her bed that was the problem. It was beds in general.

  Travis must have thought she’d taken leave of her senses when she wouldn’t climb in. He must have carried her in after the movie; she couldn’t remember going to bed at all.

  Marissa spooned sugar into the cups, then added the milk. She heard a sound behind her, and turned.

  Travis stood casually in the doorway, watching her every movement. He looked eerie standing there, with the moonlight behind him; almost like an angel with a halo.

  Angel? Not likely. He’d proven last night he was no angel. Not when it came to making love on that rug, anyway. The rug she’d never be able to look at again, without her mind churning back to that night, and what they’d done.

  The spoon hit the sides of the mug, making a tinkling noise. It echoed through the kitchen, and probably through the house. Every miniscule sound was noticeable; the ticking clock, the water dripping from the kitchen tap, leaves brushing against the kitchen window.

  Travis helped himself to a mug, and Marissa followed him out into the lounge room.

  She’d opened the drapes when she’d gotten up. Travis had a marvelous view looking out over the rolling hills, across the countryside. Trees as far as the eye could see, fences from adjoining properties, animals such as cows and sheep, and across the skyline, birds flew, squawking as they went.

  The full moon was brilliant, and Marissa found it hypnotizing. She would sometimes watch it for hours. When she couldn’t sleep, which was nearly always.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Travis looked at her over the rim of his mug.

  “No,” she said, noticing the sexy tussle of his hair. And that bare chest wasn’t bad either. She slowly sipped her tea.

  “When?”

  “When what?” She stared out at the moon. Maybe if she didn’t look at him, he’d leave her alone.

  “When are we going to talk about it?” He sat his drink on the side table. “About what’s bothering you?”

  Distracted, Marissa took a large gulp of tea, and nearly choked on it.

  Travis came closer, patting her back. Almost like burping a baby.

  She waved a dismissive hand at him, again. “Probably never. It’s not something I want to talk about.” He looked straight into her eyes, as though he was trying to read them. Or read past them, into her brain, or worse still, her soul.

  She stood, taking her drink with her, and walked over to the open window. Light splayed from below the horizon; the sun was beginning to rise. Marissa loved this time of day. It was... indescribable.

  Travis stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her slender body. Where had he come from? She hadn’t heard him move.

  Marissa leaned back, relaxing against him. They stood together in silence, watching the sunrise.

  ***

  “I’m sorry, Dan. I know it’s the middle of the night over there.”

  Marissa had long gone. She’d insisted he take her home, right after breakfast. Too much work to do, she’d said. Can’t stay.

  “I thought we were mates?” He was getting frustrated. What was the use of ringing Daniel, if he wouldn’t tell him what he needed to know? “Yeah, yeah; she’ll tell me if she wants me to know.” Travis let out a long sigh.

  Shock tactics, that’s what he’d use. “We’re sleeping together, you know.” There. That ought to do it. “Aw, come on! She won’t tell me a damned thing. If this Jeremy what’s-his-name has done something to her, don’t you think I... You don’t? Damn you, Kershaw.” This was exasperating, infuriating. If Daniel wouldn’t tell him, how the hell could he find out?

  “This is all your fault, after all.” Well it was. Daniel had moved overseas and offered Marissa the house. It was worth a try. “What do you mean it’s not? Of course it is.” He sighed again, knowing he was grasping at straws. “Apart from Marissa, yeah, everything’s just dandy.”

  They talked about Daniel’s assignment, his family, Travis’ family, and finally after there was nothing left to talk about, Travis replaced the receiver, feeling as though he’d w
asted both his time and Daniel’s.

  ***

  The knock at the door disturbed him.

  Not that Travis had done much in the way of work. Marissa had conjured up all kinds of excuses not to see him. The morning after, that was the last time he’d laid eyes on her.

  And that was nearly a week ago.

  The courier stood looking at him. He wasn’t expecting anything. What could it be? There was only one way to find out, and that was to open the darned thing.

  Travis signed the confirmation sheet, and looked the envelope over. No indication of where it was from.

  Becoming impatient with himself, Travis tore the envelope open, pulling out the pink stationery inside. His heart skipped a beat. If it were business, it wouldn’t be on pink stationery.

  He put the paper to his face, and his heart skipped a beat.

  It smelled of Marissa.

  She needed some space it said. Going away for a few days, maybe longer. She apologized for any inconvenience she’d cause.

  Inconvenience? Dammit, Marissa! Inconvenience?

  He could put a few other names to it. Try heartbreak for starters, or maybe excruciating pain.

  What the hell was she playing at? Had she left him?

  No, that’s not what she’d said. Take a deep breath, and read the letter again.

  Travis sat down, trying not to panic, and carefully re-read Marissa’s letter. She needed some space. That much he’d gotten before.

  She’d wrangled an assignment and would be back as soon as she sorted herself out.

  There. She was coming back – nothing to worry about.

  If he told himself often enough, he might just believe it.

  ***

  It had been days, nearly a week, since Marissa had left and still Travis had heard nothing.

  What could he do? He had no way of tracing her. He’d just have to sit and wait. But that wasn’t his style.

  Travis couldn’t work. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t live without Marissa. He had to know she was all right.