Jason Read online

  Chase leaned forward, closer to Officer Sawyer. “What you do now, Jason, is whatever needs to be done.” His face seemed set in stone, and although Jason knew him to be a reasonable man, he wasn’t sure how all this sat with Chase. Being such short notice and all.

  He looked at his watch. “You’ve probably got time to catch the shops and get enough baby supplies to get you through the next day or two. I’ll see if my sister-in-law can help you out tomorrow. My niece is only a few months old, so she will be able to advise what you’ll need.”

  Jason nodded, but his head was so full of information, he was beginning to feel confused.

  “I can give you a few weeks off, if that helps,” Chase said. “Actually, let’s make it a month. You’ve got a ton of leave owing.”

  Jason wasn’t sure about this turn of events. “I don’t think...”

  “Sleep on it but given the situation you’ll probably need a bit of time off. Let’s get together again sometime in the next couple of days and decide where to go from here,” he said. “But Jason,” he looked the other man in the eye. “Don’t stress about your job. You’re too good an officer to lose.”

  He stood and extended his hand, and Jason felt relief. “Thank you, Sheriff,” he said. “I truly appreciate it.”

  He left the sheriff’s office with a whole new agenda on his mind.

  ~~~

  “Singlets, dresses, and leggings,” he counted them off on his fingers. “There was something else?”

  The sales assistant approached. “Can I help you, sir,” she said, taking in the clothing in his basket.

  He sighed with relief. “New baby,” he said. “I know I’ve forgotten something, but I can’t remember what.”

  The assistant grinned and took the clothing, going through it as she folded. “You seem to have everything except socks, matinee jackets, and diapers,” she said. “Or perhaps you have those already?”

  She walked toward the front counter and deposited his purchases.

  “No, nothing,” he said. “This was all kinda last minute. I didn’t...” he let his words trail off. River Valley was a small town, and he didn’t want gossip spreading about his personal business.

  “I definitely need diapers, and socks too,” he said. “And whatever else you think I need. The smallest you’ve got?”

  She rang up his purchases and frowned at him. “These won’t last long,” she said. “Only a couple of days.”

  He sighed with the knowledge. “I know,” he said shrugging. “Baby came early. We were unprepared.” Well, it was the truth. Wasn’t it? “I’ll be back in a day or two, hopefully with a friend. She knows more about this stuff than I do,” he said, paying for his purchases and hoping Missy Callahan was available to help him out.

  Jason left the store, anticipating seeing his daughter again soon, but knowing he had to wait until after dinner.

  ~~~

  The little bell on the door tinkled, and Aunt Lizzie came rushing out from the kitchen.

  “Jason!” she said excitedly. “Congratulations!” She ran around to his side of the counter and hugged him.

  So much for keeping the news secret.

  “I am so happy for you. And Melanie of course.” She pulled back and smiled. “I always knew you two were meant for each other. This is amazing news.”

  Jason stared down at her. The grapevine sure worked fast in this town. “Thanks,” he said, still rather shell-shocked.

  “Okay, give,” Lizzie said. “What is the baby’s name, and how heavy was she?” Obviously, the grapevine wasn’t as efficient as he’d first thought.

  “Lily Rose,” he said, then frowned. “I don’t know how heavy. Does it matter?” he asked, puzzled why anyone needed that information.

  Lizzie waved her hands in front of her. “Lily Rose is a beautiful name. How is Melanie?”

  “Melanie is doing well,” he said. “For someone who has just had a baby.” Not just any baby. His baby. His baby he had no idea about until earlier today.

  He was trying not to let it get to him, but it did. Why didn’t she tell him? A phone call would have done the job, but nothing. Silence for six whole months, and then he’s presented with a baby.

  His baby. Lily Rose. The light of his life.

  Lizzie hugged him again. “It will all turn out all right,” she said, then moved behind the counter. “What can I get for you, young fella?”

  “I need some dinner,” he told her. “Then it’s back to the hospital.”

  “You leave it to me,” she said, then disappeared into the kitchen.

  Five minutes later Charlotte Dolan, Aunt Lizzie’s Kitchen chef, brought out a roast chicken dinner. “It smells amazing,” he told her, and wondered how many times over the next weeks he’d be having dinner here. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. Anything else I can get for you, Officer Sawyer,” she said.

  “Jason,” he said. “Please call me Jason. And I desperately need coffee.” Jason worked with Charlotte’s husband, Deputy Chris Dolan. He thought by now she’d feel comfortable calling him by his first name.

  Charlotte laughed. “What is it with cops and coffee? Extra large coffee on its way.”

  But Lizzie was two steps ahead of them both, and had already prepared it, and put the mug of the steaming beverage in front of him. “Enjoy, young fella,” she said, then left him alone with his thoughts.

  He knew that after everything that had happened today, coffee would really hit the spot.

  Chapter Two

  “They’re beautiful, Jason,” Melanie said, going through the pile of baby clothes.”

  She still looked tired.

  Not that he was surprised. After that long grueling bus trip, and then giving birth not long after arriving in River Valley, that’s got to knock it out of you.

  “I need to get more,” he said quickly. “But this will get you through the next couple of days.”

  She nodded.

  “The sheriff is going to ask Missy to help me.” She looked up suddenly and he realized she didn’t know the news. “Rory and Missy have a baby now. Little Chloe is a few months old, so Missy is an old hand.”

  He walked over to the basinet and his sleeping daughter. “She’s beautiful, Melanie,” he said in a whisper. “But I really wish...”

  Just then the same nurse entered. Great timing. Not.

  “Ah, baby clothes. Thanks dad,” she said, taking the clothes from Melanie. Now we can dress your little doll up.”

  She proceeded to fill the cupboard drawers with baby clothes, withholding some to use immediately.

  “I’ll get more tomorrow,” he offered.

  The nurse nodded. She began to wheel the baby out of the room. Jason frowned.

  “Don’t worry, I’m just going to change her diaper and her clothes,” she said. “I’ll bring her back shortly.”

  “Melanie,” he said as soon as the nurse disappeared out of the room. “We need to talk.”

  She looked at him, terror written across her face. Then glanced down into her lap, where her hands were entwined. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I never intended to dump all this on you.”

  “Dump?” he said. “My baby is not a pile of rubbish to be dumped!” Now he was feeling angry.

  She looked hurt. “That’s not what I meant, I hope you understand that.” She reached out and covered his hand with hers. “I’m really tired, Jason,” she said. “I can’t even think straight at the moment.”

  He nodded his understanding. “Maybe we should wait until tomorrow to talk, when I can think straight.”

  He hoped by then he’d have his head wrapped around all this too.

  ~~~

  It was a new day, with a whole new perspective.

  He arrived at the hospital a little after ten. In time to see Melanie feeding their baby. It certainly was a sight to cherish.

  He stood in the doorway and watched quietly. “Morning,” he said softly, not wanting to startle Lily.

  Melanie smi
led, and the baby continued to suckle. “Good morning,” she said, still smiling.

  She looked much better today. There were still circles under her eyes, but no where near as bad as they were yesterday. She’d endured a lot, and he really hadn’t appreciated that.

  But then he’d had a lot to take in.

  After all, it’s not every day you become an instant dad. He just wished she’d told him earlier.

  He sighed, then moved around to sit next to the hospital bed. “She looks sweet in her new clothes,” Jason said quietly. Suddenly Lily began to cry, and he felt distressed. “What’s wrong with her? Should I call the nurse?” he asked, panicked.

  Melanie laughed. “I took her off the breast, that’s all. She’s got wind.”

  A nurse strolled into the room. “I need to check Melanie’s stomach,” she said, looking directly at Jason. “You take the baby and burp her while I do. Thanks.” She passed Lily over to her father.

  He wasn’t sure what to do and said so. “Sorry, you’re a new dad,” she said. “I should have known – you are smitten.”

  With the baby placed on his shoulder, Jason began to gently pat her little back until she brought up wind. Then she started crying again. He stood and walked around with her until she fell asleep.

  He surprised even himself, then lay his precious baby in her basinet.

  By now the nurse had left the room to get Melanie a well-deserved cup of tea.

  “We need to talk,” Jason said softly, not wanting to disturb the baby.

  Melanie took a deep breath. “Okay.” She sounded wary, as though not sure what to expect. “If you don’t want her, I...”

  “What the hell, Melanie!” Jason was horrified. Why would he not want his precious daughter? Why would she even think that? “Of course I want her. What are you thinking?”

  She put her hands in her lap and looked down at them. “Look at me, Melanie,” he said. “I will take care of both of you.” She lifted her face and stared into his eyes. “Just tell me why you took off like that.” As much as he tried not to be, he still felt hostility toward her.

  She should have told him sooner. He could have been there for her.

  She braced her back and her lips went into a tight line. “You didn’t want a baby. You said you were a confirmed bachelor,” she said, her voice breaking. Her voice went suddenly quiet. “You didn’t even love me.” Tears welled up in her eyes. “I certainly wasn’t going to force you into fatherhood.”

  He sat in silence. That was then. Before.

  Before he met Melanie.

  Before he fell in love with her.

  His heart had broken when she left without a word. He had no idea what he’d done to push her away. He’d thought about searching for her, but if she didn’t want to be found...

  He swallowed down the huge lump in his throat. “Melanie, I...” What did he say? It was too late. She’d been gone six months. He’d been so in love with her, and foolishly, had never said the words.

  His thoughts were all over the place now. Did he still love her? He couldn’t say. He was in a constant state of confusion since he found out yesterday.

  He was certainly annoyed at being excluded from the past six months. Of being there for Melanie and Lily. Ensuring the baby was okay, and that Melanie was well cared for.

  A thought suddenly struck him. “Where have you been the past six months?” She had little in the way of family, so it was doubtful she’d have stayed with them.

  A tear trickled down her face. “In women’s shelters mostly.”

  “Damn it, Melanie!” He shoved the chair back and paced the room. Lily began to cry. He looked down into the basinet, admonishing himself for startling his daughter.

  He leaned down and gently picked her up, placing her on his shoulder. “Shhhhh,” he whispered, trying to settle the baby down again.

  “She’s probably wet,” Melanie told him. “Bring her here and I’ll change her diaper.” She put out her arms, but Jason was reluctant to let go. “Please,” she said, almost pleading.

  He handed the baby over and took a diaper from the drawer.

  “What are we going to do?” He wasn’t sure he could get past this. Anything could have happened to Melanie out there alone. Or to his baby. He cringed at the thought.

  He was still pacing the room. He was beyond annoyed and couldn’t stay still. “Look,” he said, placing the freshly changed baby back in her bed. “I have to go. There’s so much to do. Including buying more clothes.”

  She nodded but said nothing. Fresh tears stained her cheeks.

  He sat down again, then took her hand. “Melanie, I’m not sure we can ever move forward from this.” It was true. He wasn’t sure he could forgive her.

  Or himself for not saying how he felt. This was just as much his fault. And now he’d regret it for the rest of his life.

  She yanked her hand away and swiped at her cheeks. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly.

  He nodded, then left without a word.

  ~~~

  Missy promised to meet him outside the infant supply store. To his surprise, Rory was there instead.

  “Congratulations, Dad,” Rory said as he hugged Jason. “It’s a wonderful feeling, isn’t it?”

  Jason looked at the ground. “I guess,” he said honestly.

  Rory stared at him. “What the hell, bro?” He looked annoyed.

  “Where’s Missy? I need to get these baby things.”

  Rory continued to stare. Only now it became a glare. “She’s inside with Chloe, browsing. Listen Jason, let’s walk for a bit.” They walked toward a local park. “I know fatherhood is not easy. And I know how it all panned out.” As they arrived at their destination, he indicated for Jason to sit down next to him.

  “I love that little girl,” Jason said, looking at his boots.

  Rory slapped him on the back. “Great! So what’s the problem?”

  “She betrayed me,” he said, staring at Rory. “I mean,” he swallowed hard. “She left me when she found out she was pregnant. Didn’t give me any choices.”

  Jason was a tough cop, but right now he wanted to cry. His emotions were starting to get the better of him. He braced his shoulders and fisted his hands. He was not going to let Rory see how upset he was, but the other man was watching his every move.

  “Jason,” Rory said gently. “We’ve been friends for many years; went to school together, even threw stones at the abandoned homestead together.”

  That made Jason smile. “Yeah, we did,” he said, even managing a laugh. “Got our asses kicked too when the sheriff found out.”

  “My point is,” Rory continued. “You can tell me anything. Ask me anything. I want to help you,” he finished.

  Jason sat where he was, not saying a word. He wasn’t sure what to say if he was honest with himself.

  “Man, I can’t help you if you won’t help yourself.” Rory let out an audible sigh. “What are your plans?”

  “Plans? What do you mean?” Jason was confused.

  “Melanie just arrived back in town, right?” When Jason nodded, he continued. “Where is she going to stay? Are you taking her and the baby back to your place?”

  He hadn’t thought that far ahead. “My place? Um...”

  “Do you, or do you not want to be a family? To see your baby every day? To see her grow up?”

  His head shot up. Of course he wanted to see Lily every day, and watch her grow into a beautiful young girl, but he wasn’t sure if that was an option.

  Would Melanie even agree to it?

  “Yes,” he said quietly. His voice slightly above a whisper. “But I’m not sure it’s what Melanie wants.”

  Rory nodded. “Right now, think about the immediate future. They have nowhere to stay. You have a big cabin, with plenty of space.”

  Everything Rory said made sense. He was on the outside looking in, which is exactly what Jason needed at the moment – he was not in the right frame of mind. But he still had reservations. “What if s
he doesn’t agree?”

  Rory slapped him on the back. “Let’s worry about that later.”

  They stood and headed back to the store where Missy had a pile of clothes sitting on Chloe’s buggy. Rory strolled over to her and hugged her tight. Jason watched as he kissed her on the cheek.

  Their love for each other was palpable.

  He wanted that with Melanie but wasn’t sure it would ever happen. Could ever happen.

  “Hey Jason. Congratulations,” Missy said.

  “Yeah, thanks,” he said quietly. She looked at Rory, apparently picking up on Jason’s desolation.

  “He needs everything,” Rory said, matter-of-factly.

  “Everything?” Missy asked. “I hope your wallet is full,” she said.

  “Money is the least of my worries,” Jason said. “Just tell me what I need, because I have no idea.”

  Rory grabbed a shopping trolley and they began their big adventure in the baby superstore. Jason was convinced he’d seen the sales assistant rubbing her hands together as they gathered up a basinet and all the bedding that went with it, a buggy, baby clothes, a change mat, and what seemed like a year’s supply of diapers.

  “Oh, and a baby bath,” Missy said. “Can’t forget that. Do you have soft towels? Babies need soft towels, not hard ones like I know you cowboys use.” She laughed, and Rory’s face lit up. She reached over and grabbed some towels, baby wash, and baby powder.

  Rory carefully chose a baby carrier for Jason’s vehicle.

  Babies sure needed a lot of stuff.

  Strangely enough he’d enjoyed buying for his little girl and wondered how long he’d be able to do that.

  Chapter Three

  Nearly a week later, Melanie and Lily were finally allowed to leave the hospital.

  It was wonderful and terrifying all at the same time. He’d spent many hours preparing his home to accommodate the pair; setting up the basinet with the bedding, making sure it was sufficient for little Lily.

  He’d also moved a chest of drawers into that room, filled with diapers and baby clothes, as well as the baby bath and bathing accessories.